weekend in casper

This weekend Nate got 1/2 of saturday off, sunday off. so we took a trip to the big ole town of casper wy. mostly because nate needed work clothes. but we took the kids to a fun restruant called Sanfords. And it was alot of fun...decorated in anything u could think of the food had a cajun flavor to it and was delicious. we ended the night swimming in a hotel and sleeping in real beds!! how lovely lol. the kids had a blast and it felt like a mini vacation!! I feel like we made the right decision coming out here. yes we have sacrificed alot, yet we are growing together in ways we never would have before. now about that bigger trailer lol..still holding out for the one with a master bedroom hehe.

pumkin patch

Nate got off early on sunday , came home and told the kids we were heading to the local pumkin patch. So we loaded up in the truck and headed out. what fun!! they had pumkins all over, different colors and kinds. It was a blast and a great treat for the kids. We loved spending some rare time with daddy, and getting to explore the pumking patch as we went. since were in a little trailer we decided carving pumking were out and were going to paint them instead lol. so thats todays project. ill post the results.

the kids are doing really well as is nate. we really enjoy being here with him..even if we only get him a couple hours every night. We love supporting him and helping him. this is our families togetherness...and i think it will bring us closer in the years to come. now it doesnt stop me from dreaming of a bigger trailer with a master bedroom lol....sigh i can dream cant I?

worst part of living in a trailer

The worst part of living in a 22ft camper trailer? when one of your kids get sick. yes emma.. you guessed it. lol . my girl that cant hold anything down if her stomach is a little ill...10 times ..sigh. yes that makes a little 22ft camper stink to high heaven!!

yes i felt bad, and and all that..but its hard to remeber that while trying to clean out throw up..from the floor and a bucket we luckily found...its not like u can just flush it down the toilet...sigh...ya i wont go into details.

Anyway. she is doing better luckily after im sure getting every bit out. Wade started school up here in riverton, wy yesterday...went well..except today the bus didnt stop where it said it would lol. so luckily a neighbor who drives her kids in to a nearby school offered to take him in so i could stay home with emma

Nate said the next area he thinks hes going to is kemmer. not sure what to think about that.lol. my mom used to teach there once a week, so i know it a little bit...my dad says its cold there..lol im finding wyoming is cold everywhere....and the wind? its crazy. my nails are splitting and bleeding no matter how much lotion i put on lol. so i keep reminding myself i really do love my husband...hehe.

meanwhile holly calls and tells me its cold cause she only reached 65 today...lol i want to shoot her...love ya holly....cause i think its finally warm cause its up to 4o hehe...

amyway were doing ok...surviving together...and im sure well remeber this little adventure for years to come lol. thanks all for your support and i miss all you guys!!

made a choice

Well after coming home and leaving nate. the family tried to get back to normal. but i just had this very ominous feeling i needed to be with nate. at first i thought it was just i didnt want to be alone without him. but ive done that before..ive left him for 3 weeks and was fine. the next morning wade came down sick and we sat on the bed and had a family discussion. the only reason werent following nate was wade's school..so i told him id let him decide...did he want to stay in his new school, or go be with dad. we talked about the pros and cons...and i really didnt pressure him at all. and he kept saying..mom i want to be with dad. i guess the week i was gone he had a very bad time in school...to the points i got a call because of his behavior..we are such a close family i know this has effected us all. so I said ok..lets do it..and we started to plan it, packing and going to go the next day to riverton. well then we found out about the incoming storm and decided the next day was going to have to be today lol. and we jetted to wy as fast as we could.

needless to say we scared nate to death lol and he didnt know what to think. but all that was put aside as we redied the trailer for the storm. well it didnt work..our heat tape failed and our water froze lol. but we weathered the worst storm theyve had all year lol. on sunday nate sat and gave all the kids blessings, in wades he told them that he would be blessed educationally because of his choice to be with his family over school. i had tears in my eyes when i heard this...what a blessing!! then he gave emma one and me one. In mine he told me that i would have the strength to see this family through this and keep us together and that i would also be blessed for my choice. what a reassruance that following the spirit is the right thing to do. i know this wont be easy..lol especially being crammed in this little trailer. but i know we will be blessed for our desire to be together as a family. nate is sacrificing for this family and in our way we can do the same to better the life of our family. i know we will all be blessed for our sacrifice. and that in the long run this will be our family closer together!!

I am so gratefull to have the gospel to be able to tell me what i need to do..for that small whispering guiding me in making the right choices. and though the road ahead is full of questions and unkowns..i know we will be together as a family and we will get through it :) love ya all. thanks for all your support. i will keep u updated about where we go next and whats happening.

single parenthood

Well I left my beloved husband in wyoming today. with heavy heart, i sent him off to work, cleaned the trailer a little so he could come home and make food and talk with the kids. and drove the 5 1/2 hrs to corinne. I walked into my house, and sighed. all my energy left me. can i do this? how do people do this? i know this is just till dec..and yet i want to break down crying. can i handle being a single mom till then..knowing there is no one to lean and and support me? no one to snuggle up to at night and hold me and tell me its ok? I have never felt so alone :(

I didnt realize how much just seeing him everynight meant to me. its like the absense of him hangs heavily in the air. like the whole house is sad because he is gone. And here i am going to try and maintain an order of peace and happiness while my heart is broken...as i left half of it in wyoming with him. i pray he is safe. and that he feels the love i have for him tonight. i pray he knows he means the world to me and that me and the kids feel a big loss without him. yet we know he is doing this for us. to help us survive. i love you nathan david d'hulst. forever your baby natasha

what a difference a day makes!

Woke up monday morning with a list of projects a mile long . who would have figured by monday night id be on a road to riverton wy. lol we got the call at 8pm wed night. if nate could make it to riverton wy by 7am the following morning he might have a job....enphasis on might!! As soon as i got the call i scrambled around to find babysitters, and figure out what do with myself and kids for a week lol. so emma went to grandma ovards, Wade went to nates' sisters house. and i drove nate to wy( so he could sleep if he ended up working a 12 hour day!!) so now im sitting here in a friends trailer ( were sleeping in the back of the van lol) wondering how i came here and how my life is going to change dramatically. We are coming home saturday or sunday to pick up a trailer for nathan to live in. then he is heading back. who knows when i will see him again.

im sad scared excited all in a nutshell. the pay is good so i cant complain about that. but i hate for us to be split up even though i knew this might be coming. im toying with the idea that as soon as he takes his second assignment in november we might pack up and join him. who knows...i hate to move the kids from there schools..especially wade. but at the same time..we are a family and all of us love spending time with each other and i dont know how good we would do apart..sigh. desicions. im wondering know if this is a sign that my texas plans are too fast. i know without a doubt that we are going there..but im wondering if my time and god's time are 2 different things lol .

Well i know it will all pan out in the end and i need to just be patient and let heavenly father do his thing lol. but wow..who would have known a week ago this is where id be!! silly me...borin sounds so good right now lol..nice boring life. :)

i survived!!

Ive decided the definition of Insanity is 12 9 year olds at a birthday party lol. Wade turned 9 on the 22nd and i havent let him have a friend b-day in 2 years so i decided to go all out lol. so we planned a lego b-day party, and invited 8 people..lol but wade my social bug kept inviting more and more kids lol till i threatened him that if he invited one more i would call it off lol.

anyway they all had a blast making lego knight shields and having a lego building competition :) and after it was done i was so exhausted. especially since the cake took an hour to build the two raid towers lol!! but wade said it was the best day in his life and so it made it all worth it in the end lol!! and now emma is going on about what she wants for her birthday lol. at least i have till november to recover hehe.

In other news: nate has decided to take a job in wy. after much discussion we have decided the car business is just not going to get better for awhile and we are swimming in our medical debt. as much as it pains me to see him do it, i know its the right thing. so in the next couple weeks he is leaving to go to wy for at least 6 mo to a year. he can come home on sundays..but its a 6 hr dr..and with winter coming i dont know how much that will really work :( so im gearing myself up to be a single mom for awhile. We would go with him, but wade is doing so well at this school i cant take him out, so it is a sacrafice i need to make so that my kids can keep going to. Nathan is going to have a tough time as he loves his children dearly and would spend every waking hour with them if he could. we are buying web cams so nate can say goodnight to them every night. and of course talk with me. luckily i have my two dogs to keep me company in bed lol i hate sleeping alone . plus the house is still up for sell so i will probably be moving alone to. we are putting the moving to texas aside till at least wade is out of school. but decided to sell the house since we dont know how long it will take to sell. i will then rent a house in either brigham city or north ogden and continue sending wade to school. wow what i would do for a nice boring life right? lol

The Corinne Pageant

For all of you who dont know i live in a little small dopey town called corinne, it has a little over 500 people. Just the way i like it. lol But it has a very colorful history. it was the first Gentile city in utah. it had more brothels and saloons than people!! for all those who know there history golden spike(promotory point) is close to us where the north train rail met the south. The little town of corinne went from 50 people to 10,000 back to 50 in 5 years!! its was quite a towns with "soiled doves" and oprah house, and a steam ship that went 500 ft before running aground on a sand bar lol. It had a divorce machine, where for 2.50 u could get a divorce signed by a layer without ur spouse present lol...2000 people did this till it was found to be illegal lol.

anyway corinne is mostly a small mormon town now. but the corinne historical society doesnt want people to forget about the history of this town, so every year we do a little play nothing spectacilar, all is volunteer by the community.. but its so fun!! the last 3 years i have been a " soiled dove" my husband a muleskinner and kids pioneer kids. I have also choregraphed the dances. as soon as i figure out how to upload vidoes ill have to share the"bear river dance" the cowboys do lol...its a riot and lots of fun. What a way the town comes together to celebrate our quirky history lol. i thought id share some of our fun pictures..i have one more with the sheriff and the soiled doves i need to upload...but enjoy lol

poem

Holly and i did a little poem writing let us know what u think :)

who knows who cares for me?

who knows the beating of my heart?
who cares for the light in my soul?
who dreams the same dreams that i do?
who knows who cares for me?

who hears the cries in my head?
as i walk through the trials of fire.
who holds my hand in the darkness?
who knows who cares for me?

who leads me a long when I'm down?
who carries me when i a have no strength?
whose eternal arms are around me?
who knows who cares fo me.?

Who will guide me through this life?
who will open the doors to the sky?
who will lift me up to heavens?
who knows who cares for me?

Wade's first day of venture academy was a field trip to the bird refuge in farmington. he loved it!! The next day i asked him what subject he learned. he said i didnt learn anything. i said oh ya what did u do? and he said we played a game, i was a swallow , and there was preditors (falcons and merlins) and i was a pray and they chased us. then we made a chart and i drew a whole group of swallows. so i said hmm sounds like u didnt learn any science at all today lol. Then today he came home and said school was so awsome and that there math class was really cool and go to use bigger numbers than normal lol. i am so glad he is enjoying it. he has made a new friend in the carpool named wyatt..who is also as smart as a whip. now i wonder what im going to do when we move, im going to have to try and put him in another charter school, i mean he is loving every minute of this and i know he wil continue to do so throughout the year!! sad thing is every school should be like this...where ur curriculum is hands on, and your works is based on your lvl. how sad our public school system keeps getting worse instead of better!!

little miss kimber

this is little miss kimber who came into our life in nov of 07 and left june of 08, it was a tough case and a heartrenching story. i pray everyday that she is safe, and that she will grow to be strong and happy...she will forever be a part of our family and melded into our hearts forever!!

we miss you kimber!! and we love you!!


Well Wade is officially going to venture academy tomorrow. i am excited for him. they are going on a field trip allready....its sounds like such an awesome school i hope he likes it.

ive been thinking alot about writing again. melissa just won first place with her awesome story and im so proud of her, and she got me thinking of how i use to love to write. so maybe ill drop a peom or something here or there who know..lol

venture academy

I just got a call today from a charter school called venture academy. I learned that Wade has been accepted to their school. Its been excited but stressful to think about. first it would be an excellent opportunity for him to continue growing his education...he is an especially smart boy...who learns very easy and every year in school, they cap his reading and math...to the point he's bored...i try and suppliment at home but its not the same thing. then there is the smaller class size and the the more hands on teaching methods..only down thing is its so far away...and we would have to carpool down. its alot to think about..especially with thinking of moving on the way but i think it will work. Ill let you know how it goes lol...talk with you soon

Im Back!!

Hello everyone :) After a long vacation of writing I finally decided to start again lol. I read melissa's post everyday and wish i was keeping up with hers lol. so here it goes.

Whats up with me: I am currently remodeling my house so i can sell it. After much time and consideration we have decided to move to San Antonio texas. people think we are crazy (except my sis holly who understands) but i know we are suppose to do that...not only that i know that my future foster children are out there waiting for us. after much prayer and fasting i know that thats where they are. So i have been working my butt off everyday repainting rooms, adding a deck and french doors, trying to slim things out to make the house look its best. it goes up for sale wed. this week so wish me luck.

I am excited about moving except for leaving my friend melissa. she has been more than a friend , more like a sister to me... i will miss her dearly, and frequently tell her im dragging her to texas lol. well i am going to keep up this blog..if its the last thing i can do!! so cya soon lol

loved it...from meslissa's page ;)

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I am an Echinacea What Flower Are You?

"You are a health conscious person, both your health and the health of others. You know all about the health benefits and dangers of the world around you."

Well we are adding an new addition to our home this week. Her name is Amya and she is a doll!! We are watching her while her mother is in jail.( this is Emma's birth sister)

Most people think we are crazy taking her for six months with the option of giving her back. but think about it. if this was your daughter and you had messed up wouldn't you want a chance to make it right? If someone took one of my baby's I would go crazy.

Of course having two 20 month old babies in the house is going to be work hehe. I already have great empathy for parents with twins hehe. But she is adjusting well already. Her and my foster baby trenton are a day apart!! so they really are like twins...and they are getting along together very well. And of course getting into lots of trouble together too hehe.

Emma is dealing well with it, I don't really think she understands this is her real sister, but she she calls her her sister.

So I hope i survive the next six months....heh... But these kids are worth it...:)

On the lighter side ;)

Ok everyone should love this.... and its true:)

My DH cousins live in Canada, one has a 16 year old daughter. Last week she was taking care of a friends dog while they were out of town. she would ride a bus accross town, feed the dog and play with it for awhile. well one day she went over and she couldn't find the dog anywhere. She finally walked down stairs and found the dog dead( of old age).

Well she didn't want to leave the body there (and being 16 and very resoursefull) she decided to put the dead body into a suitcase to take home on the bus with her. As she was sitting on the bus a man started talking to her...finally he asked what was in the suitcase. not wanting to say a dead dog, she said electronics.

Well she got off at her stop and noticed the man also got off, she didn't think anything of it and started walking home. suddenly the man ran up behind her, grabbed the suitcase and ran off!!

He thought he had grabbed a bag of electronics!! how i would have loved to see his face when he opened it up and there was dead dog hehee.

I thought this was so funny!! and poor girl she was more worried that she didn't have the body of the dog than about being robbed...heh :)

Pissy week

ok well its been one of those weeks I am so honery i can't stand myself. I cant imagine what my kids think..sigh. Im just tired i guess, and everything annoys me, including myself LOL.

my computer is driving me nuts. I had my brother in law build me one a few years ago, and he put a copied version of windows on. now nothing works. I can't even read emails with clips in it cause its so messed up. so i called him to ask him if he could help me so i could get help and he tells me 'well your just going to have to put a real copy of windows in like everyone else' I looked at him in amazement. he was the one that put the copy on not me. i would have paid for a real version...sigh..now i can't cause i don't have the money.


And thats the other thing bothering me right now. we have never had alot of money but enough to pay our bills, but since nate started his new job last year we have had so much less...plus more bills because of my medical bills. and its like this cycle. if i could get a credit card to pay off some of the medical bills we would be ok, but the medical bills have messed up our credit and so now we cant get any help, and we still can't pay all the thousands of dollars of bills ...its so messed up, its something you can't get out of. I can't work cause i can't afford to pay a babysitter for 3 kids, my husband is already working 50+ hrs a week, he doens't have time to take on a part time job....I HATE MONEY...I hate that you have to have it to survive, i hate that it causes so much stress, I hate that i can't get enough to sustain my family, and i hate that everything in my house is breaking or broke and i can't do anything to fix it.

well there is my rant....i guess its not much to read. but oh well....ill try again next time when im not in such a pissy mood. :(

Bad Hair month!!

Haha this month has been a crazy hair month....so im posting here for everyone to know ...DONT TRY THIS AT HOME!! hehe

its started out that i couldn't afford to go have my hair colored by my regular stylist..so i thought i ll just put a rinse in and be fine till next month. well the color was suppose to be light blonde. its went more like platinum blond err. so i decided i already hate my hair so why not go dark like i have always wanted...so i put a black color in

1st warning...never change your hair from blond to black, unless u want to stay there as its easier to go darker but not easier to go lighter from black hehe

so i loved the black, it was way different and fun, but i realized that upkeep was going to be hard, and the hair color after few days wasn't as pretty or glossy as at first. so i though i would just go to a dark brown. heh. well u can't do this, i found out, because black will not got to brown like brown to black!!

So i researched how to get rid of black hair, i was too embarrassed to go to my regular sytlist so i decided to remove it myself

2nd warning....everyones hair does not respond the same to hair removers!! the best way to remove color...go to a sylist who does lots of hari cloring hehe

I followed the directions to the letter....my hair turned the orange/red the directions said it would and i was ready to put the next color on.....a dark brown.....

needless to say this didn't happen. because the hair remover burnt my scalp and hair, so my hair didn't pick up all the color, it went to a mousy medium red brown...i was horrified. i trimmed all my edges and went to a cheap hair color place to trim of the burnt(only cause it was 8 pm at night and no sylists were open.

she recommened putting a semi-perm color on in mean time

3rd warning ...after putting light to dark to no color to dark...your hair will open up and accept all color as permanent color!! therefore semi will not be semi...but permanant

i put a black rinse in and next day went to a salon(broke down cause i needed a good haircut) this stylist told me that my hair would not be ready to accept any color for a couple months while it repaired itself..and also told me that the semi perm..would take as a permanant....and told me next time come in and they have removers they test on your hair before doing to see how they respond......sigh....

I did end up with a ok haircut...but my hair is about 2 inches shorter and my scalp has tiny little scabs all over it. i still have the black color which i will wear for as long as i can stand before trying to remove and restore my regular color......

the moral of the story is if u want to go an extreme color, always go semi-perm, or have a professional do it....it will save you money in the long run.....

my cheap dye ended costing me over 85 dollars, broken hair, and a sore scalp. plus hair dresser said it would probably grow back white or grey....because of the damage....sigh.....learn from my mistakes please!!! Natasha

Hi melissa!!

Hi im here...how are u? are u fine? look im writing on my blog just for you:)