i survived!!

Ive decided the definition of Insanity is 12 9 year olds at a birthday party lol. Wade turned 9 on the 22nd and i havent let him have a friend b-day in 2 years so i decided to go all out lol. so we planned a lego b-day party, and invited 8 people..lol but wade my social bug kept inviting more and more kids lol till i threatened him that if he invited one more i would call it off lol.

anyway they all had a blast making lego knight shields and having a lego building competition :) and after it was done i was so exhausted. especially since the cake took an hour to build the two raid towers lol!! but wade said it was the best day in his life and so it made it all worth it in the end lol!! and now emma is going on about what she wants for her birthday lol. at least i have till november to recover hehe.

In other news: nate has decided to take a job in wy. after much discussion we have decided the car business is just not going to get better for awhile and we are swimming in our medical debt. as much as it pains me to see him do it, i know its the right thing. so in the next couple weeks he is leaving to go to wy for at least 6 mo to a year. he can come home on sundays..but its a 6 hr dr..and with winter coming i dont know how much that will really work :( so im gearing myself up to be a single mom for awhile. We would go with him, but wade is doing so well at this school i cant take him out, so it is a sacrafice i need to make so that my kids can keep going to. Nathan is going to have a tough time as he loves his children dearly and would spend every waking hour with them if he could. we are buying web cams so nate can say goodnight to them every night. and of course talk with me. luckily i have my two dogs to keep me company in bed lol i hate sleeping alone . plus the house is still up for sell so i will probably be moving alone to. we are putting the moving to texas aside till at least wade is out of school. but decided to sell the house since we dont know how long it will take to sell. i will then rent a house in either brigham city or north ogden and continue sending wade to school. wow what i would do for a nice boring life right? lol

The Corinne Pageant

For all of you who dont know i live in a little small dopey town called corinne, it has a little over 500 people. Just the way i like it. lol But it has a very colorful history. it was the first Gentile city in utah. it had more brothels and saloons than people!! for all those who know there history golden spike(promotory point) is close to us where the north train rail met the south. The little town of corinne went from 50 people to 10,000 back to 50 in 5 years!! its was quite a towns with "soiled doves" and oprah house, and a steam ship that went 500 ft before running aground on a sand bar lol. It had a divorce machine, where for 2.50 u could get a divorce signed by a layer without ur spouse present lol...2000 people did this till it was found to be illegal lol.

anyway corinne is mostly a small mormon town now. but the corinne historical society doesnt want people to forget about the history of this town, so every year we do a little play nothing spectacilar, all is volunteer by the community.. but its so fun!! the last 3 years i have been a " soiled dove" my husband a muleskinner and kids pioneer kids. I have also choregraphed the dances. as soon as i figure out how to upload vidoes ill have to share the"bear river dance" the cowboys do lol...its a riot and lots of fun. What a way the town comes together to celebrate our quirky history lol. i thought id share some of our fun pictures..i have one more with the sheriff and the soiled doves i need to upload...but enjoy lol

poem

Holly and i did a little poem writing let us know what u think :)

who knows who cares for me?

who knows the beating of my heart?
who cares for the light in my soul?
who dreams the same dreams that i do?
who knows who cares for me?

who hears the cries in my head?
as i walk through the trials of fire.
who holds my hand in the darkness?
who knows who cares for me?

who leads me a long when I'm down?
who carries me when i a have no strength?
whose eternal arms are around me?
who knows who cares fo me.?

Who will guide me through this life?
who will open the doors to the sky?
who will lift me up to heavens?
who knows who cares for me?

Wade's first day of venture academy was a field trip to the bird refuge in farmington. he loved it!! The next day i asked him what subject he learned. he said i didnt learn anything. i said oh ya what did u do? and he said we played a game, i was a swallow , and there was preditors (falcons and merlins) and i was a pray and they chased us. then we made a chart and i drew a whole group of swallows. so i said hmm sounds like u didnt learn any science at all today lol. Then today he came home and said school was so awsome and that there math class was really cool and go to use bigger numbers than normal lol. i am so glad he is enjoying it. he has made a new friend in the carpool named wyatt..who is also as smart as a whip. now i wonder what im going to do when we move, im going to have to try and put him in another charter school, i mean he is loving every minute of this and i know he wil continue to do so throughout the year!! sad thing is every school should be like this...where ur curriculum is hands on, and your works is based on your lvl. how sad our public school system keeps getting worse instead of better!!

little miss kimber

this is little miss kimber who came into our life in nov of 07 and left june of 08, it was a tough case and a heartrenching story. i pray everyday that she is safe, and that she will grow to be strong and happy...she will forever be a part of our family and melded into our hearts forever!!

we miss you kimber!! and we love you!!


Well Wade is officially going to venture academy tomorrow. i am excited for him. they are going on a field trip allready....its sounds like such an awesome school i hope he likes it.

ive been thinking alot about writing again. melissa just won first place with her awesome story and im so proud of her, and she got me thinking of how i use to love to write. so maybe ill drop a peom or something here or there who know..lol

venture academy

I just got a call today from a charter school called venture academy. I learned that Wade has been accepted to their school. Its been excited but stressful to think about. first it would be an excellent opportunity for him to continue growing his education...he is an especially smart boy...who learns very easy and every year in school, they cap his reading and math...to the point he's bored...i try and suppliment at home but its not the same thing. then there is the smaller class size and the the more hands on teaching methods..only down thing is its so far away...and we would have to carpool down. its alot to think about..especially with thinking of moving on the way but i think it will work. Ill let you know how it goes lol...talk with you soon

Im Back!!

Hello everyone :) After a long vacation of writing I finally decided to start again lol. I read melissa's post everyday and wish i was keeping up with hers lol. so here it goes.

Whats up with me: I am currently remodeling my house so i can sell it. After much time and consideration we have decided to move to San Antonio texas. people think we are crazy (except my sis holly who understands) but i know we are suppose to do that...not only that i know that my future foster children are out there waiting for us. after much prayer and fasting i know that thats where they are. So i have been working my butt off everyday repainting rooms, adding a deck and french doors, trying to slim things out to make the house look its best. it goes up for sale wed. this week so wish me luck.

I am excited about moving except for leaving my friend melissa. she has been more than a friend , more like a sister to me... i will miss her dearly, and frequently tell her im dragging her to texas lol. well i am going to keep up this blog..if its the last thing i can do!! so cya soon lol

loved it...from meslissa's page ;)

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I am an Echinacea What Flower Are You?

"You are a health conscious person, both your health and the health of others. You know all about the health benefits and dangers of the world around you."

Well we are adding an new addition to our home this week. Her name is Amya and she is a doll!! We are watching her while her mother is in jail.( this is Emma's birth sister)

Most people think we are crazy taking her for six months with the option of giving her back. but think about it. if this was your daughter and you had messed up wouldn't you want a chance to make it right? If someone took one of my baby's I would go crazy.

Of course having two 20 month old babies in the house is going to be work hehe. I already have great empathy for parents with twins hehe. But she is adjusting well already. Her and my foster baby trenton are a day apart!! so they really are like twins...and they are getting along together very well. And of course getting into lots of trouble together too hehe.

Emma is dealing well with it, I don't really think she understands this is her real sister, but she she calls her her sister.

So I hope i survive the next six months....heh... But these kids are worth it...:)

On the lighter side ;)

Ok everyone should love this.... and its true:)

My DH cousins live in Canada, one has a 16 year old daughter. Last week she was taking care of a friends dog while they were out of town. she would ride a bus accross town, feed the dog and play with it for awhile. well one day she went over and she couldn't find the dog anywhere. She finally walked down stairs and found the dog dead( of old age).

Well she didn't want to leave the body there (and being 16 and very resoursefull) she decided to put the dead body into a suitcase to take home on the bus with her. As she was sitting on the bus a man started talking to her...finally he asked what was in the suitcase. not wanting to say a dead dog, she said electronics.

Well she got off at her stop and noticed the man also got off, she didn't think anything of it and started walking home. suddenly the man ran up behind her, grabbed the suitcase and ran off!!

He thought he had grabbed a bag of electronics!! how i would have loved to see his face when he opened it up and there was dead dog hehee.

I thought this was so funny!! and poor girl she was more worried that she didn't have the body of the dog than about being robbed...heh :)

Pissy week

ok well its been one of those weeks I am so honery i can't stand myself. I cant imagine what my kids think..sigh. Im just tired i guess, and everything annoys me, including myself LOL.

my computer is driving me nuts. I had my brother in law build me one a few years ago, and he put a copied version of windows on. now nothing works. I can't even read emails with clips in it cause its so messed up. so i called him to ask him if he could help me so i could get help and he tells me 'well your just going to have to put a real copy of windows in like everyone else' I looked at him in amazement. he was the one that put the copy on not me. i would have paid for a real version...sigh..now i can't cause i don't have the money.


And thats the other thing bothering me right now. we have never had alot of money but enough to pay our bills, but since nate started his new job last year we have had so much less...plus more bills because of my medical bills. and its like this cycle. if i could get a credit card to pay off some of the medical bills we would be ok, but the medical bills have messed up our credit and so now we cant get any help, and we still can't pay all the thousands of dollars of bills ...its so messed up, its something you can't get out of. I can't work cause i can't afford to pay a babysitter for 3 kids, my husband is already working 50+ hrs a week, he doens't have time to take on a part time job....I HATE MONEY...I hate that you have to have it to survive, i hate that it causes so much stress, I hate that i can't get enough to sustain my family, and i hate that everything in my house is breaking or broke and i can't do anything to fix it.

well there is my rant....i guess its not much to read. but oh well....ill try again next time when im not in such a pissy mood. :(

Bad Hair month!!

Haha this month has been a crazy hair month....so im posting here for everyone to know ...DONT TRY THIS AT HOME!! hehe

its started out that i couldn't afford to go have my hair colored by my regular stylist..so i thought i ll just put a rinse in and be fine till next month. well the color was suppose to be light blonde. its went more like platinum blond err. so i decided i already hate my hair so why not go dark like i have always wanted...so i put a black color in

1st warning...never change your hair from blond to black, unless u want to stay there as its easier to go darker but not easier to go lighter from black hehe

so i loved the black, it was way different and fun, but i realized that upkeep was going to be hard, and the hair color after few days wasn't as pretty or glossy as at first. so i though i would just go to a dark brown. heh. well u can't do this, i found out, because black will not got to brown like brown to black!!

So i researched how to get rid of black hair, i was too embarrassed to go to my regular sytlist so i decided to remove it myself

2nd warning....everyones hair does not respond the same to hair removers!! the best way to remove color...go to a sylist who does lots of hari cloring hehe

I followed the directions to the letter....my hair turned the orange/red the directions said it would and i was ready to put the next color on.....a dark brown.....

needless to say this didn't happen. because the hair remover burnt my scalp and hair, so my hair didn't pick up all the color, it went to a mousy medium red brown...i was horrified. i trimmed all my edges and went to a cheap hair color place to trim of the burnt(only cause it was 8 pm at night and no sylists were open.

she recommened putting a semi-perm color on in mean time

3rd warning ...after putting light to dark to no color to dark...your hair will open up and accept all color as permanent color!! therefore semi will not be semi...but permanant

i put a black rinse in and next day went to a salon(broke down cause i needed a good haircut) this stylist told me that my hair would not be ready to accept any color for a couple months while it repaired itself..and also told me that the semi perm..would take as a permanant....and told me next time come in and they have removers they test on your hair before doing to see how they respond......sigh....

I did end up with a ok haircut...but my hair is about 2 inches shorter and my scalp has tiny little scabs all over it. i still have the black color which i will wear for as long as i can stand before trying to remove and restore my regular color......

the moral of the story is if u want to go an extreme color, always go semi-perm, or have a professional do it....it will save you money in the long run.....

my cheap dye ended costing me over 85 dollars, broken hair, and a sore scalp. plus hair dresser said it would probably grow back white or grey....because of the damage....sigh.....learn from my mistakes please!!! Natasha

Hi melissa!!

Hi im here...how are u? are u fine? look im writing on my blog just for you:)

a little bit of kids...

More of my little squirts...they are growing up so fast!! Wade will be seven in sept.....How can I have a seven year old? he is boss 2. of course with dad gone alot he thinks thats his job.... hehe
















Emma is 2 1/2...well that says it all doesn't it hehe....she is going to be a beautiful girl...and very stubborn, did I say she was stubborn!!










and Trenton our little foster boy is coming alive. learning what foods he likes, trying to learn that no means NO hehe.










foster care this time around has definatly been easier emotionally. I have found how to love him without exactly attaching myself to him as "MINE" . we have no idea what is happening with mom and dad...they are still sitting in jail as far as I know...there is talk of removing mom's rights...but not sure about dad's yet. I would love to adopt him...but I also know he might still go home as well...
I sure so love these guys....as much as they make me crazy...I wouldn't know what to do without them!!

20 lb's gone

Yeah...20 pounds gone forever :) I really had lost hope that I would start losing...now I can't wait....hehe I get so impatient and get all my clothes out and can't wait till I can get into them...

even though I have a long way to go its nice to know that i can do it....and that eventually I will lose this weight and be healthy again!!
plus my sugar levels have stabalized so I am not shaky, and I don't crave sugar anymore!! yeah...its so great....

now 60 more pounds to go LOL hehe :)

Tired.......

I am so tired today.....that deep bone tired that drags you to the floor!! I am tired of struggling with bills, and not seeing my husband because he is working 60+ hours. I am tired of not being able to have the energy to do my house work, or play with my kids.....its that deep emotional tired that you have a hard time shaking.

A year ago this month is the month I got sick...in aug 05 they found my pre cancerous condition and then started the hardest 6 months of my life.....4 surgeries(and 75lbs) later you would think I would be starting to get better. and then they told me I have epstein barr virus...which doesn't go away...it stays with you and flares up all the time!! they told me to avoid stress...Oh okay...I will just wrap myself in my little cocoon and be happy....LOl because it is so easy to avoid stress with three kids and a working husband and hospital bills and such........

Ok I am overly negative today...I should probably call it quits....and try again tomorrow

only good thing is the weight is starting to SLOWLY come off....:) I should try and focus on that ..........

what kind of shoe am I?

You are Barefoot!

You're a total free spirit, go with the flow girl You can't be restricted by shoes for very long And unsuprisingly, the same goes for men Your match is out there - and he's as carefree as you are

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

My children...My joy!

These are two of my reasons for living. everyday I look at these two beautifull faces and know I have a reason to continue.

Wade is 6 years old and as smart as a wip, top of his kindergarted class reading at a second grade level...He never stops talking LOL always asking question after question....his mind is never at a stop :)

Emma is 2 and beautiful. she came into our life as a foster child at 10 months, and then became our daughter. she is stubborn, thoughtfull and full of life. she came from a rough start and has over come much!!

together they are rascals, but I love them dearly!


This is our new foster baby...Trenton. he is 13 months . what a joyfull, curious boy he is. full of smiles and talking. we have had him for 2 weeks, and he already feels like part of the family. We don't know how long he will be in our lives, but we hope what time we have with him, will fill him with love and peace!